Microsoft Teams Gets “Farm Certified”

Many of you already know the process of Farm Certification. It is not just something we hand out in exchange for money or promotion. It is a big deal. We do arduous testing. Our customers count on us as much as we count on them. Farm Certification has to have real teeth and real meaning, or why even bother?

Many of you also know my relationship with Teams. Let’s just say it has been a little rocky. I won’t get into the details here, but sometimes Teams makes some choices on my behalf that I might not have made. We will leave it at that.

You can only imagine my shock and surprise when their management reached out to inquire about Farm Certification. After my vocal rebukes of Teams, they wanted to settle this once and for all. I get it. After all, I am an influencer. My viral TikTok dances are beloved by millions. So, we got down to business and now Teams is Farm Certified.

Maybe for those who don’t know, I will lay out the process a little bit. You can read between the lines.   

First off, certification begins with a lengthy application. It is not online. I need it in blue pen. Notarized. Then it follows with various feats of strength, fantasy football and rigorous drinking games. But that is just the beginning.

We take the actual product and put it through its paces. Countless hours of George Astin trying to teach me the on-hold music from Ring-Central on guitar through Teams. Every Teams emoji is used in a single chat. Big Dumb Faces fill the screen (you know who you are) and all of the dumbness is analyzed and documented. 

We tested on iPhones, flip phones, and pay phones. We used Atari 1040’s and Apple II+ computers. We even used Motorola pagers… the cool ones with the clear cases where you can see its guts.

After all the testing, all of the tears, and a lot of laughter and bonding (and a crazy camping trip!), I have a new respect for Teams and all they do. Teams cares about you. And we care about Teams. So Today I am proud to announce that Teams is now Farm Certified!  

Alright, Google! Time to get on the bus!!!